Imaginary Good times blog (Forbidden Questions with Cristy Vermin)

Photo courtesy of http://pep.ph

Yes, folks, you read it right, this is my imaginary blog on the time that the serpent tongued Ms. Cristy Vermin (yeah, you all know who I’m talking about) guested on the Forbidden Questions segment of the Good times show with Mo Twister…

First the disclaimer, this is a work of fiction so if you’re planning to sue for libel, knock yourself out… Oh and yeah, this work is done without the endorsement of the Good times show nor my man Mo Twister…

By the way, the pictures are not related to this blog in anyway, they’re Halloween masks being sold on ebay for $2 each… That’s to cover the cost of the rubber bands used to fasten the masks to your mug… SCARY, huh?

Now that the legalese is out of the way, let’s imagine that Mo had outdone himself and managed to convince the Wicked Witch of the West to guest on the Good Times Show:

Forbidden Questions with Cristy Vermin

Mo: Welcome to the Garden of Eden… err to the Good times show, Cristy…

Cristy Vermin: Thank you, Mo… Alam mo, hindi naman totoo talaga yung mga pinag-sasabi ko sa iyo na pandak ka at walang “K”…

Mo: That’s okay, I know that you’re well known in the industry for being made of polyethylene…

Cristy Vermin: Hay naku, ayan ka na naman, ini-English mo na naman ako… Alam mo naman mahina ako sa Latin…

Mo looks at Mojo and winks… Mojo snickers in the background while Grace is silently flabbergasted…

Mo: You know how this works right?

Cristy Vermin: Ay oo naman, magtatanong ka tapos maghuhubad ako pag mali sagot ko, tama? Bra-less nga ako ngayon…

Mo: That’s a little too much information but that’s for Strip Tuesdays while today is a Wednesday so I’m damned glad we’re doing Forbidden Questions instead!

Cristy Vermin: Ay sayang, anyway, alam ko si Manay Lolit naka 40 dito di ba? Hmmmp, kailangan di ako magpatalbog sa tomboy na iyon!

Mo: Okay, let’s move along…

Mo: First question: What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done to a fan?

Cristy Vermin: Ay nung minsan, may nagpapa-autograph sa akin dyinombag ko talaga… Akalain mo ba namang i-correct yung spelling ko ng dedication ko sa kanya… “Deliciously yours, CRISTY VERMIN”… Anong akala niya di ako marunong mag-spell?

Mo: How did you spell “Deliciously”?

Cristy Vermin: Errr… D-e-l-i-c…. err… D-e-l-i-s… Ay hindi “LOVE LOTS” pala nilagay ko…

Mo: Okay, we’ll give you an extra point for that brilliant spelling effort…

Cristy Vermin: Thank you…

Mo: 2nd question: Have you ever cheated in a relationship?

Cristy Vermin: Nahihiya naman ako… Tanggalin ko na lang kaya blouse ko?

Mo: Never mind, I’ll give you 3 points just for keeping your top on…

Cristy Vermin: O sige na nga, aamin na ako… Nung kami pa ng teenage papa ko (secret ang name niya)… Naglasingan kami ni Jobert Sungalngaldito at may nangyari sa amin… Sorry Jobert!!!

Mo: Wow! really?

Mojo: But Jobert is gay, right?

Cristy Vermin: Yeah, but nung nalasing daw siya, napagkamalan niyang lalaki ako, huhu… Walanghiyang baklang yun…

Mo: Priceless!

Cristy Vermin: Uuuyyy, di naman ako nagpabayad…

Mo: Errr, what I meant was that… never mind… moving along…

Mo: Question number 3: Who’s the better reporter, you or Manay Lolit?

Cristy Vermin: Ay naku, tinatanong pa ba yan? Siyempre ako, noh! Ilan na ba ang libel cases ni Manay Lolit? Talong talo ko siya sa imagination at invention noh! Tsaka siya may ghost writer, ako ghost lover lang… Joke yun, tawa naman kayo…

Grace: “I love you Chiz Escudero” (just had to get in one speaking line for Grace)…

Mo: Question #4: Who do you have a lesbian crush on?

Cristy Vermin: Uyyy, ano ba namang tanong yan… Hindi ako bakla noh… Yung sa amin ni Jobert, fling lang yun… Sige na nga, siya… (points at Grace Lee)… Ang laki ng dibdib…

Grace instinctively covers her twins…

Mo: Laughing hysterically… Okay… How many points does she have, Mojo?

Mojo: By my count, 7 points, including the bonus for keeping her top on…

Mo: Question no. 5: Which is the better station ABS-CBN or GMA?

Cristy Vermin: No vrainer naman yang tanong mo… Siyempre ABS noh! Sila lang ang nagtiyaga sa akin… Yung GMA ayaw akong kunin, hmmmpp… Mas gusto nila yung tomboy na si Manay… Gusto pa naman kitang makatrabaho Mo… *winks at Mo*…

Uncomfortable silence…

Mo: Okay, let’s move this show along, chop chop…

Mo: Question #6: Have you ever had any plastic surgery done?

Cristy Vermin: Hindi naman counted ang BOTOX di ba? Hmmm…. atin atin, lang ha? Bagsak na kasi hanggang pusod kaya pinataas ko…

Mo: Again, too much information… but good answer… any surgeon in particular who performed the intervention?

Cristy Vermin: Naku hindi si Belo noh… Bruhang iyon, ni-reject ako… Extreme case na daw… hmmmp… Pero in fairness gwapo papa niya, ha…  Eh di pumunta ako kay ELLEN… Friends kami niyan eh…

Mo: Speaking of ELLEN, don’t you agree that her billboard is the worst one on EDSA?

Cristy Vermin: Hindi naman, tie lang sila nung kay Boy… Secret muna, pero may billboard din ako para kay ELLEN, ex-deal para sa retoke…

Mo: Can’t wait to see it so that we’ll have some more fun in the show! I’m sure our blogger Benj will have it up on our blog by the time it hits EDSA…

Cristy Vermin: Ano daw?

Mojo and Grace laughing in the background…

Mo: Question 8: Have you ever been intimate with something non-human?

Cristy Vermin: Uyyy, bastos mo ha… Counted ba si Jobert? Sige na nga YES!

Mo: Ohhh, I won’t even ask what you did… it’s probably too gross…

Mojo: She now has 10 points including the question about the billboard…

Mo: Cristy, now this is where it gets really hard…

Cristy Vermin: Ay naku yan ang gusto ko… hard…

Mojo: You and me both, hahahahah…

Cristy Vermin: Ano daw?

Mo: Question 9: When was the last time you pleasured yourself?

Cristy Vermin: Uuyyy, di ko ginagawa yan…… regularly… minsan lang… Sige na nga, sa kotse habang papunta dito sa station…

Mo: You mean, when you shook my hand earlier you had just finished doing it?

Cristy Vermin: Grabe ah… Nag-tissue naman ako… yun nga lang walang tubig sa kotse eh…

Mojo: HAHAHAHAHAHA…

Mo: Let’s take a break while I go to the bathroom to clean up…

———– Break —————— COLDPLAY music…

Mo: Okay, we’re back on the show with Forbidden Questions featuring the slimy, err…. Ms. Cristy Vermin…

[CANNED APPLAUSE]

Mo: Okay, while I was in the bathroom using plenty of LYSOL and Greencross alcohol, Mojo answered a call from MTRCB chairman LaGuardia warning us to stop this segment or we’ll be suspended again…

Mo: Much as I’m enjoying ostracizing our guest (don’t worry she doesn’t know what the word means), we’ll have to call a halt to this edition of Forbidden Questions with Cristy Vermin! Let’s give her some bonus points though for even showing up to the show and braving the questions…

Mojo: Okay, by my count, she got 12 points but let’s give her an extra 8 points to reach 20 points…

Cristy Vermin: Kakainis naman si Chairman, di pa nga ako nakaka-lips to lips kay Mo Twister hininto na… !#$!#!%@$^@$^@^$%^$@%^@$ naman talaga si Chairman…

Mo: Damned, we can’t have that kind of language on the show! [Turns off the Vermin's mike]…

Mo: SECURITY!

And that my dear readers is what happened when the acid-tongued Cristy Vermin guested on the Good Times show for the Forbidden Questions segment…

Before I go, just a plug for my man Mo Twister’s new show on ANC, titled “IMO (In My Opinion)”… It will have its premiere telecast this coming Sunday on the ANC channel at 9PM…

Hope you liked my pretend blogs!

Great times!

Tomorrow’s Forbidden Questions guest is…

Photo courtesy of http://igmatv.com

I stand corrected, tomorrow is NOT the last time that Mo’s bringing back Forbidden Questions… Nevertheless, due to the extended time that this segment hasn’t been done, it has generated an elevated level of anticipation in the show’s regular listeners…Mo gave a clue last time he posted on my blog – an ex of Aga Muhlach… I guessed Janice de Belen, and guess what? I hit it right on the head!

Mo confirmed the identity of tomorrow’s guest by posting the following comment on my blog and I quote:

“i gave a clue that tomorrows forbidden questions guest is an ex-girlfriend of aga muhlach. i dont know every girl that aga has gone out with (theres janice, aiko, dayanarra, etc.) so…one of you guys were right, it is janice de belen for tomorrow. im pretty excited about it, shes a tough lady. i have a ton of questions for her and if you have some as well, please post it here so i can look it up and use it as research. thanks guys!

p.s. i dont think she goes 40…maybe mid-20’s. but i do believe he will have juicy john estrada and aga muhlach stories.

Mo”

So post your questions in the comment section below and let Mo know what your questions are…

Thanks for the scoop, Mo!

Good times!

Good times with Mo (Hottest Celebrity Showdown)

Photo courtesy of http://dpinoyweb.com

He’s back! After yesterday’s absence, my man Mo was back and better than ever… As a result, today’s edition of Good Times with Mo was extremely funny and vibrant with positive energy… Looks like Mo had a lot of time to think of the things he wanted to discuss on the show today!

Lesbians and their top 10 hottest girls

Mo was of the opinion (and he never runs of out these) that lesbians and guys have very different tastes in women and to prove his point, he did a rundown of the Top 10 hottest girls according to a survey by LesbianNation or as stated succintly by Mo, Bos vs. Mos…

10. Cate Blanchett – I’d have to agree with Mo on this one, while supremely talented, Cate isn’t exactly boner-inspiring material…

9. Catherine Zeta-Jones – I think she peaked in Zorro where she was uber-hot and it all went downhill  from there…

8. Emily Blunt – Who?

7. Thandie Newton – I’d have to agree with our lesbian sisters here… Thandie inspires jungle fever!

6. Keira Knightley - no boobs… gorgeous face though…

5. Naomi Watts – kinda hot… well at least King Kong has the hots for her…

4. Kate Winslett - too big… I think Mojo used the word voluptuous…

3. Minnie Driver – Mo called her pubic hair head…

2. Nicole Kidman – too much Botox…

1. Rachel Weisz - of the Mummy fame… Yeah, I guess she’s sorta hot…

Non-virgin smokers

If you still remember, Mo put forth a rather controversial theory that all girls who have tattoos (permanent ones) are all non-virgins… I think Mojo and Grace agreed with him on this one…

Just to stir up the pot a bit more… Mo then postulated that all regular female smokers are non-virgins… To prove his point, he asked Mojo and Grace if they knew any regular female smokers who are still virgins… Well, they couldn’t think of any… What about you? Do you know of any regular female smokers who are still virgins? Chime in your comments below…

Oh by the way, the great Professor Mo got corrected by a caller, there are a group of girls who are regular smokers and could possibly be virgins… Fat girls… Today’s show was so politically incorrect… I love it.

Hottest Female Celebrity Showdown

If there are two things I know about Mo, he loves basketball and hot girls… Now, how to combine the two? Well knowing Mo, he came up with a brilliant idea to finally settle the issue of the hottest female celebrities and basketball… Using the NBA’s playoff format, he’s pitting 8 female celebrities from ABS-CBN versus 8 female celebrities from GMA with the winning celebrity from each bracket meeting head on during the finals…

KC Concepcion vs. Shaina Magdayao (ABS-CBN bracket)

Top seed KC Concepcion vs. dark horse Shaina Magdayao were up first… Both combatants had impressive showbiz pedigrees, KC of course the daughter of the Megastar Sharon Cuneta and the comebacking matinee idol Gabby Concepcion and Shaina the younger sister of singer Vina Morales… Mojo – KC, Grace – KC (although she wanted to retract her vote), Mo – KC… Callers and texters voted – Shaina…

Well despite the overwhelming vote from the callers and texters, the only votes which really mattered were Mo, Mojo and Grace’s… So it was a close fight but KC Concepcion won this one… KC moves on to the 2nd round…

Diana Zubiri vs. Katrina Halili (GMA bracket)

6th seeded Diana Zubiri vs. No. 3 seed Katrina Halili duked it out in this round… Mo – Diana, Grace – Diana, Mo – Diana (coz she did full frontal nudity)… Callers, Diana and Katrina got some votes…. General comments were that Katrina was too much a product of science rather than nature… Diana wins in an upset because she was au naturel… She moves on to the 2nd round…

Morris’ insult poetry

Caller Morris dished out some serious bashing of the three hosts in his insult poetry, hehehe… Morris is a creative genius! Props to you man! If you’re reading this blog, please post your insult poetry in the comments section and I’ll blog about it!

Mo got some bashing about his height (as usual)… Mojo got bashed with words like baboy, halimaw and bakulaw thrown in for good measure… Grace’s grammar was blasted and Korean’s food giving bad breath, hehe… Excellent job Morris…

Mo pissed off

Mo got seriously pissed at the end of the show because Mojo (as usual) did not inform him that he’ll be out tomorrow… Apparently, Mo thought that he’d be gone on Thursday and not tomorrow which is Forbidden Questions day… Mo was seriously pissed, he called Mojo a son of a b, hehe…

So Forbidden Questions is up in the air for tomorrow, but I’ll still wake up early to catch it…

Watch for it here…

Till then… I’m out of here…

Good times!

Of Forbidden Questions and Coldplay

Photo courtesy of http://dreamstime.com

Let me just say that it is a singular honor for my blog and a milestone indeed that the great Mo Twister would choose this venue to give us the scoop on Wednesday’s much anticipated edition of Forbidden Questions.

Mo posted a comment on my blog about last Thursday’s show with Adel Tamano and I quote verbatim:

“just wanted to keep you guys updated on the happenings. today on the show, i announced that we might bring forbidden questions out of the grave one time just for ol’ time sake. so, im going to agree to do it this wed. however, this segment has gotten us into deep trouble in the past, and in the near future (likely the end of this month) i will begin serving the latter portion of a suspension i was given cuz of the variety of things that have been said during forbidden question. but no worries, i will take the time to go to italy and watch coldplay (this is your cue to get jealous).

i want to keep my promise so i contacted a celebrity to guest on forbidden questions this wed. il give you clues on who it is but i cant say it cuz i people found out they will try to contact that celeb an talk them out of it…thats how it used to be.

heres the clue: SHE was an ex of aga muhlach.

Mo”

Whilst the Forbidden Questions segment of the Good Times show is such a favorite of mine and it may have been the reason why the Good times show became so famous or infamous (depending on whom you ask), if the price to pay for our indulgence is the suspension of Professor Mo then I’d rather we make do without it.

But as my man Mo says, he’s bringing it back for an encore… Just one last time for old times sake…

[CANNED APPLAUSE]

On the positive side, Mo gets to go on vacation in Italy to watch Coldplay in concert… Damn, we’re not jealous Mo, we’re envious, hahaha… Seriously, have fun in Italy and don’t forget to take pics of the beautiful Italian scenery and more importantly the bellissimas…

Now on to the Forbidden Questions… Who do you think is the guest on Wednesday’s edition of Forbidden Questions? Despite the clue, it’s still anybody’s guess… Aga’s been linked to so many women in the past… Hmmm, my guess is Janice de Belen… What about you? Please leave your guesses below… Let’s have a contest and the winner gets a prize consisting of two front row tickets to the Alicia Keys concert courtesy of Mo Twister…

Let the guessing game begin!

Till then, I’m out of here…

Good times!

Good Times with Adel Tamano (Sept. 4, 2008)

Photo courtesy of http://oppositeofapathy.wordpress.com

Today’s edition of Good Times had a political theme with the United Opposition’s spokesperson Adel Tamano as the show’s special guest.

If his last name is familiar, that’s because he is the son of the late senator, Mamintal “Mike” Tamano.

The young and good looking Harvard educated lawyer is also a regular listener of the show or Ka-Goodtimes, hehe…

Very articulate and obviously highly intelligent, he discoursed on a wide variety of topics including his advocacy, his role in the opposition, his work as an educator (he is PLM’s president), his religion (Islam) and his general outlook on life.

His candidness was refreshing even when faced with seemingly “tough” questions from the show’s listeners. He freely admitted that the opposition had sinned in the past and that the important thing is to move forward and learn from its past mistakes.

A number of callers wanted him to run for President in 2010 but he’s not eligible to run because of this age. The minimum age to file a candidacy for president is 40. He must have impressed a number of callers because most of the feedback was positive.

I also liked his choice for President in the US Presidential elections. He’s rooting for Barack Obama… Yeah! Go Barack!

He is indeed someone to look out for in the years to come. Definitely presidential timber…

You can check out his blog for more of his writings including the commencement speech he made when he graduated from Harvard Law School.

Now on to some good news:

My man Mo Twister is definitely looking to bring back our favorite Forbidden Questions next week! Woohoo! I’ve missed that portion of the show, it was something worth waking up early for every Wednesdays on the Good times show…

If it pushes through, I’ll definitely post the transcript here or even better, a recording of the show you can download… Watch out for it here…

I’ll blog about Tuesday’s episode of the Good Times show on Studio 23 later in the day. Check back later… It was their surfing episode in Zambales… Our man Mo got hurt on the show… ouch… I’ll share it with you later…

Till then, I’m out of here…

Good times!

10 things I love about The Good Times show!

Photo courtesy of http://www.magic899.fm

I’ve been a long time fan of the  show ever since it started airing with the original trio of Mo, Mojo and Andi9 around late 2005 or early 2006 (I forget). As Mo says in radiospeak, “First time, long time”… Meaning a first time caller but a long time listener… Well in my case, first time blogger but a long time listener…

I’ve decided to list down my top ten reasons why I love the show so much and see if you agree…

1. Mo Twister – his original and oft times controversial take on various topics makes for truly entertaining radio. His candor is refreshing and is the radio equivalent of a stiff middle finger to all those boneheads who love to bash him…
2. Grace Lee’s twins - enough said
3. Mojo Jojo – not just the token gay guy on this show, his on air flirting with the various “cute boys” gives me the creeps but is nonetheless entertaining and his unabashed gayness is a perfect foil for Mohan. Talk about the proverbial old married couple…
4. Little Man Guile - this young man has a serious future in broadcasting, but get your wang cut already, Miguel, for Pete’s sake… “snip, snip”…
5. The PRIZES - this show gives away insane prizes, from stays at luxury hotel suites, trips, concert tickets, free gas, laptops, some pretty serious dough and now a new car (albeit a Chery QQ), but still, who’s complaining? It has 4 wheels and an engine!
6. The GAMES - this show runs the gamut of games, from funny to downright stupid games… Games like the dearly departed FQ (Forbidden Questions), ass kissing games (Yabang Mo), the lame Categories game and my personal favorite the Pornstar game!
7. The TALK - let’s face it, Good times is basically a talk show and the show lives or dies by the conversation and ideas thrown around on the show… This is what keeps the listeners coming back!
8. The MUSIC - yeah, I know, I know, what music? Mo only plays three songs but those three songs are damned good! Coldplay anyone?
9. The CALLERS - from singing divas to drunken retards to doctors to hot chicks, this show is like a magnet which attracts the best and the worst callers on Philippine radio!
10. And last but not the least, MOHAN GUMATAY… Oh yeah, did I mention Mo?

I’d love to hear top reasons why you love the show too… Feel free to comment…

I’m out of here…