Imaginary Good times blog (Forbidden Questions with Cristy Vermin)

//pep.ph

Photo courtesy of http://pep.ph

Yes, folks, you read it right, this is my imaginary blog on the time that the serpent tongued Ms. Cristy Vermin (yeah, you all know who I’m talking about) guested on the Forbidden Questions segment of the Good times show with Mo Twister…

First the disclaimer, this is a work of fiction so if you’re planning to sue for libel, knock yourself out… Oh and yeah, this work is done without the endorsement of the Good times show nor my man Mo Twister…

By the way, the pictures are not related to this blog in anyway, they’re Halloween masks being sold on ebay for $2 each… That’s to cover the cost of the rubber bands used to fasten the masks to your mug… SCARY, huh?

Now that the legalese is out of the way, let’s imagine that Mo had outdone himself and managed to convince the Wicked Witch of the West to guest on the Good Times Show:

Forbidden Questions with Cristy Vermin

Mo: Welcome to the Garden of Eden… err to the Good times show, Cristy…

Cristy Vermin: Thank you, Mo… Alam mo, hindi naman totoo talaga yung mga pinag-sasabi ko sa iyo na pandak ka at walang “K”…

Mo: That’s okay, I know that you’re well known in the industry for being made of polyethylene…

Cristy Vermin: Hay naku, ayan ka na naman, ini-English mo na naman ako… Alam mo naman mahina ako sa Latin…

Mo looks at Mojo and winks… Mojo snickers in the background while Grace is silently flabbergasted…

Mo: You know how this works right?

Cristy Vermin: Ay oo naman, magtatanong ka tapos maghuhubad ako pag mali sagot ko, tama? Bra-less nga ako ngayon…

Mo: That’s a little too much information but that’s for Strip Tuesdays while today is a Wednesday so I’m damned glad we’re doing Forbidden Questions instead!

Cristy Vermin: Ay sayang, anyway, alam ko si Manay Lolit naka 40 dito di ba? Hmmmp, kailangan di ako magpatalbog sa tomboy na iyon!

Mo: Okay, let’s move along…

Mo: First question: What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done to a fan?

Cristy Vermin: Ay nung minsan, may nagpapa-autograph sa akin dyinombag ko talaga… Akalain mo ba namang i-correct yung spelling ko ng dedication ko sa kanya… “Deliciously yours, CRISTY VERMIN”… Anong akala niya di ako marunong mag-spell?

Mo: How did you spell “Deliciously”?

Cristy Vermin: Errr… D-e-l-i-c…. err… D-e-l-i-s… Ay hindi “LOVE LOTS” pala nilagay ko…

Mo: Okay, we’ll give you an extra point for that brilliant spelling effort… πŸ™‚

Cristy Vermin: Thank you…

Mo: 2nd question: Have you ever cheated in a relationship?

Cristy Vermin: Nahihiya naman ako… Tanggalin ko na lang kaya blouse ko?

Mo: Never mind, I’ll give you 3 points just for keeping your top on…

Cristy Vermin: O sige na nga, aamin na ako… Nung kami pa ng teenage papa ko (secret ang name niya)… Naglasingan kami ni Jobert Sungalngaldito at may nangyari sa amin… Sorry Jobert!!!

Mo: Wow! really?

Mojo: But Jobert is gay, right?

Cristy Vermin: Yeah, but nung nalasing daw siya, napagkamalan niyang lalaki ako, huhu… Walanghiyang baklang yun…

Mo: Priceless!

Cristy Vermin: Uuuyyy, di naman ako nagpabayad…

Mo: Errr, what I meant was that… never mind… moving along…

Mo: Question number 3: Who’s the better reporter, you or Manay Lolit?

Cristy Vermin: Ay naku, tinatanong pa ba yan? Siyempre ako, noh! Ilan na ba ang libel cases ni Manay Lolit? Talong talo ko siya sa imagination at invention noh! Tsaka siya may ghost writer, ako ghost lover lang… Joke yun, tawa naman kayo…

Grace: “I love you Chiz Escudero” (just had to get in one speaking line for Grace)…

Mo: Question #4: Who do you have a lesbian crush on?

Cristy Vermin: Uyyy, ano ba namang tanong yan… Hindi ako bakla noh… Yung sa amin ni Jobert, fling lang yun… Sige na nga, siya… (points at Grace Lee)… Ang laki ng dibdib…

Grace instinctively covers her twins…

Mo: Laughing hysterically… Okay… How many points does she have, Mojo?

Mojo: By my count, 7 points, including the bonus for keeping her top on…

Mo: Question no. 5: Which is the better station ABS-CBN or GMA?

Cristy Vermin: No vrainer naman yang tanong mo… Siyempre ABS noh! Sila lang ang nagtiyaga sa akin… Yung GMA ayaw akong kunin, hmmmpp… Mas gusto nila yung tomboy na si Manay… Gusto pa naman kitang makatrabaho Mo… *winks at Mo*…

Uncomfortable silence…

Mo: Okay, let’s move this show along, chop chop…

Mo: Question #6: Have you ever had any plastic surgery done?

Cristy Vermin: Hindi naman counted ang BOTOX di ba? Hmmm…. atin atin, lang ha? Bagsak na kasi hanggang pusod kaya pinataas ko…

Mo: Again, too much information… but good answer… any surgeon in particular who performed the intervention?

Cristy Vermin: Naku hindi si Belo noh… Bruhang iyon, ni-reject ako… Extreme case na daw… hmmmp… Pero in fairness gwapo papa niya, ha…Β  Eh di pumunta ako kay ELLEN… Friends kami niyan eh…

Mo: Speaking of ELLEN, don’t you agree that her billboard is the worst one on EDSA?

Cristy Vermin: Hindi naman, tie lang sila nung kay Boy… Secret muna, pero may billboard din ako para kay ELLEN, ex-deal para sa retoke…

Mo: Can’t wait to see it so that we’ll have some more fun in the show! I’m sure our blogger Benj will have it up on our blog by the time it hits EDSA…

Cristy Vermin: Ano daw?

Mojo and Grace laughing in the background…

Mo: Question 8: Have you ever been intimate with something non-human?

Cristy Vermin: Uyyy, bastos mo ha… Counted ba si Jobert? Sige na nga YES!

Mo: Ohhh, I won’t even ask what you did… it’s probably too gross…

Mojo: She now has 10 points including the question about the billboard…

Mo: Cristy, now this is where it gets really hard…

Cristy Vermin: Ay naku yan ang gusto ko… hard…

Mojo: You and me both, hahahahah…

Cristy Vermin: Ano daw?

Mo: Question 9: When was the last time you pleasured yourself?

Cristy Vermin: Uuyyy, di ko ginagawa yan…… regularly… minsan lang… Sige na nga, sa kotse habang papunta dito sa station…

Mo: You mean, when you shook my hand earlier you had just finished doing it?

Cristy Vermin: Grabe ah… Nag-tissue naman ako… yun nga lang walang tubig sa kotse eh…

Mojo: HAHAHAHAHAHA…

Mo: Let’s take a break while I go to the bathroom to clean up…

———– Break —————— COLDPLAY music…

Mo: Okay, we’re back on the show with Forbidden Questions featuring the slimy, err…. Ms. Cristy Vermin…

[CANNED APPLAUSE]

Mo: Okay, while I was in the bathroom using plenty of LYSOL and Greencross alcohol, Mojo answered a call from MTRCB chairman LaGuardia warning us to stop this segment or we’ll be suspended again…

Mo: Much as I’m enjoying ostracizing our guest (don’t worry she doesn’t know what the word means), we’ll have to call a halt to this edition of Forbidden Questions with Cristy Vermin! Let’s give her some bonus points though for even showing up to the show and braving the questions…

Mojo: Okay, by my count, she got 12 points but let’s give her an extra 8 points to reach 20 points…

Cristy Vermin: Kakainis naman si Chairman, di pa nga ako nakaka-lips to lips kay Mo Twister hininto na… !#$!#!%@$^@$^@^$%^$@%^@$ naman talaga si Chairman…

Mo: Damned, we can’t have that kind of language on the show! [Turns off the Vermin’s mike]…

Mo: SECURITY!

And that my dear readers is what happened when the acid-tongued Cristy Vermin guested on the Good Times show for the Forbidden Questions segment…

Before I go, just a plug for my man Mo Twister’s new show on ANC, titled “IMO (In My Opinion)”… It will have its premiere telecast this coming Sunday on the ANC channel at 9PM…

Hope you liked my pretend blogs!

Great times!

38 Responses to “Imaginary Good times blog (Forbidden Questions with Cristy Vermin)”

  1. Great times Benj! hahaha! (Hands and feet applauding vigorously!) I am hitting myself on my desk from laughing so hard man! This is stupendously crazy! You truly made me cry with this one (having trouble breathing now).

    It’s too bad I was not able to call in this pretend show! I would have laid one of those grace-lee-kinda-prank on the vermin!

    Kudos my friend!

  2. What a brilliant mind XD

  3. hehe.. this is soooooooooooo funny…
    .. r u mad at cristy??.. lolz…

  4. Hey my man Khalesh,

    Thought you’d be the first one to chime in… I was laughing whilst I was writing this piece of crap down coz I was actually imagining the show and all the dialogue…

    I hope Mo gets to read this when he gets back…

    Thanks man, you always make my day!

    Great times!

    Benj

  5. Hi LYANNE,

    Nah, I love her, just like the love of a snake for a rat…
    Good times!

    Benj

  6. krisarlex Says:

    Cristy Vermin? who is she? nyahahaha
    nice one Benj!

    Good TImes!

  7. krisarlex Says:

    Cristy Vermin? who is she?
    nice one Benj!

    Good TImes!

  8. good script again benj! super goodtimes!!

    thanks for plugging Mo’s new show… been waiting for it!

    miss goodtimes esp Mo…see u in my dreams na lng πŸ™‚

    thanks again benj for keeping the imaginary gtwm alive!!!
    khalesh, hope to hear ur singing voice on the show again…

    goodtimes everyone!

  9. if my comments are a bit sarcastic.
    why is it being deleted?

  10. hey beni,
    This is some seriously funny stuff! I’m reading it outside a a waiting room and snickering like I should be admitted to the psyche ward! πŸ˜›
    Galing!
    πŸ˜€ Marie

  11. Hi rufnnek,

    I’m not sure what deletion you’re referring to coz I haven’t deleted any comments in a long while…

    The only one I deleted aside from SPAM was a message from a Chico Garcia fan who dared to diss my man Mo on my blog… He was pissed at the Vaclair commercial…

    Anyway, you’re one of my favorite posters so I wouldn’t delete your comment however sarcastic it may be…

    Well, unless you put a ton of F*bombs in it, hehe…

    Great times Bro…

  12. Hi Marie,

    Glad you liked it… I had fun writing it… I asked Chairman LaGuardia to intervene otherwise I’d have written more than 2000 words in a single blog post…

    Now that’s not a blog post, that’s a mini-novel, hehe…

    Great times!

    Benj

  13. Hi Krisarlex, Annie and Melissa!

    Thank you for reading my blog posts… All my other readers seem to have gone to Paris with Mo (well the horndogs followed Grace to Korea)…

    Glad to see some other readers are enjoying the crap I put out…

    Great times!

    Benj

  14. Great imagination! πŸ™‚

    Hmmm… What if Mo gives out a hundred grand to someone who can actually bring Cristy to the show and do forbidden questions??? That would be hilarious! Well, I was just wondering. *wink*

  15. @annie

    Hey there! Thanks for that compliment (i always consider it a compliment when someone asks me to sing again on the show)! However, If I always call in and sing that would eventually become boring. So i took on Mo’s advise and started a segment on my multiply site called Khalesh by Request. I’ll be posting either videos or audio recording of songs that you guys would request from me. Goodtimes!

    @ruffnek

    No dude. Your comments are never too sarcastic… I think none of us are. Like Benj says all the time… he’s got smart readers here (ahhheeerrrmm!) πŸ™‚

  16. nice one! i was thinking what would you write up. but, galing galing talaga! hands down.

  17. gensanite @ cbu Says:

    my hats off to you, BENJ…

    you have one “wicked” imagination… hahaha… πŸ˜€

    rock on!!!

  18. ur a genius,Benj! LOL! cristy is dying to remove all your hairs! hahaha…

  19. this is one hellova BLOG..
    hahaha. too FUNNY!
    im lookin forward for yer next BLOG ENTRY!

    -HOPE CRISTY READS THIS!
    *dum*dum*dum* =D

  20. grabeng imagination.. it was soooooo fun!!! good job! good times!!!

  21. Benj,

    What a great way to start my day! Your freaking smart! Great job!

    πŸ˜€

  22. id like to know, whats the issue pala between Mo and Cristy Fermin?

  23. Hi guys,

    Thanks for the props… I love writing for you guys… πŸ™‚

    Rap Rap, here’s some background about the tiff between Mo and the two remaining Gorgons (well, Medusa got her head cut off)…

    http://telebisyon.net/balita/Cristy-Fermin–Jobert-Sucaldito-vs-Mo-Twister–Arnold-Vegafria-issue-escalates/artikulo/1712/

    Enjoy the day guys!

    Benj

  24. @khalesh, benj,
    thanks guys, mwah.

  25. wow. this is more hilarious if it’s real. you’re truly gifted, Benj.

  26. Hi Mr. Magic,

    Thanks, my man Mo would have had a field day with her and it would probably be even funnier with the Vermin and the Sungalngaldito guesting on the show…

    Good times Bro!

    Benj

  27. hi khalesh… i’ll check out ur multiply then… hope u’d greet me na lng nxt time u call the show πŸ™‚ thanks!
    i work in eastwood city & been wanting to bump butts with Mo but no luck yet… only in my dreams!!

    thanks benj the genius!

    goodtimes guys! happy weekend…

  28. Rotflamao. This is just too funny. I wonder what Cristy Vermin would say when she gets to read this. Lol.

    On your comment on the previous blog, Benj… Well, I rarely reviewed since most of my finals work should be research papers and articles. But I did get good grades in my Spanish and Literature tests (the only tests have). Was pretty smug about it. Lol. But it was no biggie anyways since I’ve read the Iliad and watched Troy for hundreds of times. It would have been unforgiveable if I failed Lit. πŸ˜›

    Brad Pitt and Eric Bana in Troy is β™₯.

    I have a former classmate who’s family is close to Jobert. Aparrently, he has a lot of personal dirt. So I wonder why he keeps exposing other people’s secrets when he has a lot of stuff to hide as well?

    Cristy sleeping with Jobert? Brilliant. In the event that they reproduce, the child would barely look human.

  29. Hahaha… Cristy Vermin, nice one!!!

  30. Hi Benj,

    This is sidesplittingly funny. Hahaha.

    Cristy and Jobert making out? Too nauseating. Haha.

    Good times!

  31. Hi,

    I love this entry ad i love your blog.
    Can I put this imaginary interview on my blog?

    brian

  32. Hi Brian!

    Of course, feel free to put it on your blog… I read your blog as well and I enjoy your posts…

    Great times!

    Benj

  33. OMFG! Another great idea from our man Benj here.

    Whew! Been awhile since I visited your site. Been busy the whole week. I feel so guilty missing your recent blogs. Yikes!

    Had a serious laugh while reading this. Keep it up. GTWM is back next week. Can’t wait.

    Oh, I love the plug you did with Grace. Funny. Haha!

    As always, good times!

    CHI

    Oh hey, hook my site up in “Friends of Good Times”. Thanks!

  34. HEY EVERYONE…JUST GOT BACK FROM PARIS LAST NIGHT AND I MISSED THE SHOW HEAPS. I WAT TO THANK POOP HANDS FOR COMING TO WORK EVERY MORNING AND DOING THE SHOW…AND GREAT IMAGINARY GTWM DAYS BENJ.

    ANYWAY, MY NEW TV SHOW IS OUT TOMORROW AND I WAS HOPING YOU GUYS CAN FOLLOW IT. ITS GOING TO LIKELY BE A ROUGH DAY CUZ IVE BEEN OUT OF TOWN AND USUALLY I LIKE TO REHEARSE A LIVE PROGRAM DAYS BEFORE THE SHOW BUT SINCE IVE BEEN IN PARIS, I COULDNT…SO PLEASE FORGIVE ANY SHORTCOMINGS IT MAY HAVE AND I AM A MILLION PERCENT SURE IT WILL GET BETTER IN THE NEXT FEW WEEKS. BUT DO PLEASE STILL WATCH TOMORROW AND FROM WHAT I BELIEVE, IT WILL BE INTERACTIVE, MUCH LIKE THE RADIO SHOW SO IF YOU CAN CALL, I’D REALLY CRAZY APPRECIATE IT. ITS A POLITICAL TALKSHOW NOT A COMEDY RADIO PROGRAM, SO IF YOU DO CALL, TRY TO HAVE AN OPINION ABOUT THE ISSUE INSTEAD OF TALKING ABOUT MASTURBATION AS WE DO EVERY MORNING.

    TOMORROW NIGHT ON ANC AT 9PM. I’LL BE ON SOP AND SHOWBIZ CENTRAL AS WELL BUT THE RATINGS FOR THOSE SHOWS ARE HIGH ENOUGH, I NEED YOU GUYS ON ANC. =) SALAMAT.

    NOW COMES MONDAY ON THE RADIO PROGRAM. IM TRYING MY BEST TO SQUEEZE IN A GREAT WEEK AHEAD OR SAVE SOME OF IT FOR NEXT WEEK WHEN ITS MY BIRTHDAY BUT FROM EARLY REPORTS, IM GOING TO HAVE A HUGE, GREAT THING THAT WILL HAPPEN ON THE SHOW. SOMEONE IS COMING IN TO SING HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME. ITS TENTATIVE RIGHT NOW BUT ONCE I CONFIRM IT, I’LL POST THE INFO (CLUES) HERE FIRST.

    THANKS YOU PARASITES. I MISSED YOU ALL.

    MO

  35. Hey Mo,

    Great to have you back… Yeah, thought we’d have some fun on the blog while you guys were out… πŸ™‚

    No worries, we’ll be tuning in tonight…
    I’m sure it’ll be great!

    Can’t wait for tomorrow’s radio show as well…

    Good times!

    Benj

  36. Cristy Vermin and Jobert Sungalngaldito. LOL!!

    You’re doing the Lord’s work Benj!! Good times with Mo is back!!

  37. Cristy Pata Says:

    This is a work of genious Benj. I m just starting to read your blog after I recall DJ Mo informed us listeners of the existence of this BLOG. Galing !!!!! Keep up thte goodwork. Btw. THOMASIANS RULE !!!!

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