Archive for insult poetry

Insult Poetry by Morris

Posted in Most Recent Posts with tags , , , , , , , on September 9, 2008 by Benj
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Mo manning the Magic 89.9 booth - Photo courtesy of http://tolkienlibrary.com

Good times fan and insult poet laureate, Morris, who also happens to read my blog (ahem, ahem) heeded my request to post his insult poetry which he dished out this morning on the Good Times show…  Being the considerate guy that he is, he obligingly posted his ode to the three hosts of our favorite radio show, Good times!

I’ve quoted his poems below verbatim, so read and enjoy! Thanks Morris! Props!

(Mo Diss)
Ok mo, you know what the listeners said
You got a big ego, big mouth and big head
Shut up and suck that mic instead
If it’s hard mojo’s gonna teach you how to give head

Stop drinking BIG M, you’re never gonna get tall
Miguel’s 13, look at him, he’s taller after all
Kids, drink your milk always remember
Don’t be like mo, he’s got a small feet, and small member

Frodo, Dagul, ungga we call him names
These are the roles that made his rise to fame
Guys if i were you, i wouldn’t be like this fool
Coz Everytime he watches a concert, he needs to bring a stool

(Mojo Diss)
Eto na si bading na mahilig mananching
Mataba pa din ngayon, mukhang baboy pa din
Lahat sila nagtataka, lahat sila nakatingin
Pano nakapasok sa booth ang tulad mong matsing!

Hep! Tama na! Wag ka ng magsalita!
Walang nakikinig sayong malaking bunganga
Napupunta sa impyerno ang mga katulad mong halimaw
Kampon ni satanas ang bakla, baboy bakulaw

Ok i’m gonna switch so that you would really know
I can insult you, English or Filipino
If i were you, i wouldn’t know what to do
Mayor Lim just called, he wants you back at Manila Zoo

(Grace Lee Diss)
Now hush lil darling don’t you cry
Grace lee is up next and i’ll tell you why
I have it on my cellphone and i really can’t wait
The grace and chiz escudero sex tape

A bulgogi kick, a kimchi punch
Everytime grace talks, i can smell what she had for lunch
Now if the lil man Guile is a very good rapper
Miss China town here has terrible grammar

We all know you hate this guy named Willie
For all i know you’re riding his stick shift in his brand new ferrari
So put on your thongs, dance a lil, sing us a song
Ladies and gentlemen, Grace Lee, the new girl in Pera o Bayong!

[CANNED APPLAUSE]

Till next time…

I’m out of here…

Good times!

Good times with Mo (Hottest Celebrity Showdown)

Posted in Most Recent Posts with tags , , , , , , on September 9, 2008 by Benj
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Photo courtesy of http://dpinoyweb.com

He’s back! After yesterday’s absence, my man Mo was back and better than ever… As a result, today’s edition of Good Times with Mo was extremely funny and vibrant with positive energy… Looks like Mo had a lot of time to think of the things he wanted to discuss on the show today!

Lesbians and their top 10 hottest girls

Mo was of the opinion (and he never runs of out these) that lesbians and guys have very different tastes in women and to prove his point, he did a rundown of the Top 10 hottest girls according to a survey by LesbianNation or as stated succintly by Mo, Bos vs. Mos… 🙂

10. Cate Blanchett – I’d have to agree with Mo on this one, while supremely talented, Cate isn’t exactly boner-inspiring material…

9. Catherine Zeta-Jones – I think she peaked in Zorro where she was uber-hot and it all went downhill  from there…

8. Emily Blunt – Who?

7. Thandie Newton – I’d have to agree with our lesbian sisters here… Thandie inspires jungle fever!

6. Keira Knightley – no boobs… gorgeous face though…

5. Naomi Watts – kinda hot… well at least King Kong has the hots for her…

4. Kate Winslett – too big… I think Mojo used the word voluptuous…

3. Minnie Driver – Mo called her pubic hair head… 🙂

2. Nicole Kidman – too much Botox…

1. Rachel Weisz – of the Mummy fame… Yeah, I guess she’s sorta hot… 🙂

Non-virgin smokers

If you still remember, Mo put forth a rather controversial theory that all girls who have tattoos (permanent ones) are all non-virgins… I think Mojo and Grace agreed with him on this one…

Just to stir up the pot a bit more… Mo then postulated that all regular female smokers are non-virgins… To prove his point, he asked Mojo and Grace if they knew any regular female smokers who are still virgins… Well, they couldn’t think of any… What about you? Do you know of any regular female smokers who are still virgins? 🙂 Chime in your comments below…

Oh by the way, the great Professor Mo got corrected by a caller, there are a group of girls who are regular smokers and could possibly be virgins… Fat girls… Today’s show was so politically incorrect… I love it. 🙂

Hottest Female Celebrity Showdown

If there are two things I know about Mo, he loves basketball and hot girls… Now, how to combine the two? Well knowing Mo, he came up with a brilliant idea to finally settle the issue of the hottest female celebrities and basketball… Using the NBA’s playoff format, he’s pitting 8 female celebrities from ABS-CBN versus 8 female celebrities from GMA with the winning celebrity from each bracket meeting head on during the finals…

KC Concepcion vs. Shaina Magdayao (ABS-CBN bracket)

Top seed KC Concepcion vs. dark horse Shaina Magdayao were up first… Both combatants had impressive showbiz pedigrees, KC of course the daughter of the Megastar Sharon Cuneta and the comebacking matinee idol Gabby Concepcion and Shaina the younger sister of singer Vina Morales… Mojo – KC, Grace – KC (although she wanted to retract her vote), Mo – KC… Callers and texters voted – Shaina…

Well despite the overwhelming vote from the callers and texters, the only votes which really mattered were Mo, Mojo and Grace’s… 🙂 So it was a close fight but KC Concepcion won this one… KC moves on to the 2nd round…

Diana Zubiri vs. Katrina Halili (GMA bracket)

6th seeded Diana Zubiri vs. No. 3 seed Katrina Halili duked it out in this round… Mo – Diana, Grace – Diana, Mo – Diana (coz she did full frontal nudity)… 🙂 Callers, Diana and Katrina got some votes…. General comments were that Katrina was too much a product of science rather than nature… Diana wins in an upset because she was au naturel… 🙂 She moves on to the 2nd round…

Morris’ insult poetry

Caller Morris dished out some serious bashing of the three hosts in his insult poetry, hehehe… Morris is a creative genius! Props to you man! If you’re reading this blog, please post your insult poetry in the comments section and I’ll blog about it! 🙂

Mo got some bashing about his height (as usual)… Mojo got bashed with words like baboy, halimaw and bakulaw thrown in for good measure… Grace’s grammar was blasted and Korean’s food giving bad breath, hehe… Excellent job Morris…

Mo pissed off

Mo got seriously pissed at the end of the show because Mojo (as usual) did not inform him that he’ll be out tomorrow… Apparently, Mo thought that he’d be gone on Thursday and not tomorrow which is Forbidden Questions day… Mo was seriously pissed, he called Mojo a son of a b, hehe…

So Forbidden Questions is up in the air for tomorrow, but I’ll still wake up early to catch it…

Watch for it here…

Till then… I’m out of here…

Good times!