Archive for Tim Yap

Good Times with Mo (Nov. 5, 2008)

Posted in Most Recent Posts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 5, 2008 by Benj
//totallylookslike.com

Photo courtesy of http://totallylookslike.com

Another super delayed blog post by yours truly… Sorry guys, I’m on the road right now on a business trip which is basically the reason for the delay. I hope you guys aren’t too pissed… ๐Ÿ™‚

It was a super funny show today but extremely difficult to blog particularly the last part of the show as Mo talked about a section I couldn’t keep up with… Read on for the details…

Death in the family

The show started on a rather somber note as a caller phoned in to reach out to Mo and the gang as he had recently lost his mother… The caller was on the verge of tears as he related the suddeness of the passing of his Mom due to cardiac arrest…

Ron, the caller, imparted a little message to the listeners asking them to never hesitate to hug their loved ones and say “I love you”.

While Mo was sympathetic, he did play “Too little, too late” by Jojo after the call… ๐Ÿ™‚

Time wasters

My man Mo Twister, the inveterate Internet researcher that he is, recommended some additional time wasters for our browser’s bookmarks… ๐Ÿ™‚

  1. http://www.ruinedphotos.com – Have you ever had a photo opportunity you thought was just perfect? Only to find out after viewing the photo that some idiot in the background totally ruined it for you. That’s the premise of this website and I’ll have to say, the photos on this site are hi-larious… ๐Ÿ™‚
  2. http://totalylookslike.com – Another time waster but will assuredly make you go… “Oo nga ano…” is this site… It has a catalogue of pictures submitted by the readers on the subject of look alikes… From people, to animals to things… These side by side photos will make you do a doubletake and ask yourself if these guys were separated at birth… ๐Ÿ™‚

Check out these sites, they’ll make sure your time spent on the net is even longer, hehe…

Best GF in the world

It’s now official, Grace Lee is the best girlfriend in the world… The reason? She trusts her boyfriend so much that she allows him to go to girly bars like Pegasus while he’s here in the country (probably to bars in Korea too)… They also have an arrangement wherein she said that she would understand if he was ever tempted into infidelity just as long as she didn’t know about it….

Damn, Grace! I wish all girls were like you, hehe…

Her boyfriend is like James Bond, 007, License to Cheat…

Now you can’t get a cushier deal than that, guys!

When do you get married?

A caller phoned in for some advice regarding his bestfriend’s plan to get married… He thinks that his friend and his girl aren’t emotionally and financially ready for marriage…

Mo said that if they aren’t ready then don’t get married… Plain and simple… Being married and not being financially ready is a big strain on the relationship and could result in a breakup…

This generated a lot of debate from Mojo and the callers who were of the opposite view…

I have one theory though, the caller sounded really gay and methinks he may have an ulterior motive as to why he’s asking for this advice… Perhaps he wanted the “friend” for himself… ๐Ÿ™‚

Damn, I’m starting to think like Mo, hehe…

Condometrics

Whew, my man Mo has really been spending too much time on the internet when he can research about the latest and greatest breakthroughs in prophylactics… That’s condoms for you and me…

Introducing CONDOMETRICS – Condometric is the first prophylactic that measures and shows off the penisโ€™ length. Condometric helps us flaunt what weโ€™ve got. Itโ€™s about believing we can handle whatever we wish to take on, regardless of size.

Geez, check it out on their website

6 countries with badass anthems

Regular listeners of the Good Time Show will undoubtedly know about Mo’s fascination with flags and other symbols of heraldry of various countries… He’s even got a Philippine flag tatoo…

Now of course, a nation cannot exist without its flag and anthem as it proclaims its identity, its pride and liberty… Mo did some research again and came up with the 6 most badass lyrics from the national anthems of these countries…

Coming in at No. 6 is Algeria with their National Anthem called “The Pledge”

We are soldiers in revolt for truth
And we have fought for our independence.
When we spoke, nobody listened to us,
So we have taken the noise of gunpowder as our rhythm
And the sound of machine guns as our melody

At No. 5 is Italy… Yes, the land of pizza and pasta apparently has a violent streak as well… read on…

Mercenary swords
Are feeble reeds,
And the Austrian eagle
Has lost his plumes.
This eagle that drunk the blood
of Italy and Poland,
togheter with the Cossack,
But this has burned his gut
Let us gather in legions,
Ready to die!
Italy has called!

No. 4 is Hungary… The land of the Magyars and paprika apparently are a bit on the bloodthirsty side as well:

Castle stood, now a heap of stones
Happiness and joy fluttered,
Groans of death, weeping
Now sound in their place.
And Ah! Freedom does not bloom
From the blood of the dead,
Torturous slavery’s tears fall
From the burning eyes of the orphans!

No. 3 is Turkey… Ruffa’s husband came from this land and you can probably guess why they’ve broken up…

For only then, shall my fatigued tombstone, if there is one, prostrate a thousand times in ecstasy,
And tears of fiery blood shall flow out of my every wound,
And my lifeless body shall gush out from the earth like an eternal spirit,
Perhaps only then, shall I peacefully ascend and at long last reach the heavens.
So that our every last drop of blood may finally be blessed and worthy
So ripple and wave like the bright dawning sky, oh thou glorious crescent,

At no. 2 is the land of Charles de Gaulle… Now this song is bloodthirsty in the extreme…. It’s a strong contender for no. 1 in my opinion…

Bloody flag is raised! (repeat)
In the countryside, do you hear
The roaring of these fierce soldiers?
They come right to our arms
To slit the throats of our sons, our friends!

Grab your weapons, citizens!
Form your batallions!
Let us march! Let us march!
May impure blood
Water our fields!

And finally, the bloodiest anthem of all, from the land of the Vietcong and the girls who just love to say… “I love you long time!”, Vietnam:

Our flag, red with the blood of victory, bears the spirit of our country
The distant rumbling of the guns mingles with our marching song.
The path to glory passes over the bodies of our foes.

Celebrity appearances

Tis the season to be jolly and with it comes X’mas parties… As is customary in X’mas parties, particularly for large companies, they invite celebrities to host, sing a song or just look pretty or handsome as the case may be…

My man Mo, in typical fashion did a survey amongst, A-list and non-A-list celebrities to see how much it will cost you if you wanted to have them over for your birthday, a X’mas party or anything else you might want to throw just to flaunt to the world how filthy rich you are… ๐Ÿ™‚

We’ll start with the bottom feeders first and progress upwards… ๐Ÿ™‚

For celebrities:

  1. Jon Lapuz – P50K
  2. Iwa Moto – P80K… Hmmm, I wonder? ๐Ÿ‘ฟ
  3. Isabel Oli – P100K
  4. Tim Yap – P150K… that’s a lot of coke… ๐Ÿ™‚
  5. Ruffa Mae – P200K
  6. Diether Ocampo – P200K
  7. Dingdong Dantes – P250K

For singers/bands:

  1. Kamikaze – P180K
  2. Parokya ni Edgar – P220K
  3. Bamboo – P250K
  4. Gary V – P750K up to a cool P1M
  5. Eraserheads – P10M and up!!!

Darn, I knew I was in the wrong business… ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

Foreign phrases that could get you in trouble

This is where everything went downhill for me, hehe…. I couldn’t keep up with Mo’s foreign phrases and their equivalent meanings and I just gave up and laughed and just listened… You could probably check out Tonting’s recordings and just laugh like I did…

Great, great show today…

Exceptional performance from Mo, Mojo and Grace Lee…

Till next time… Ooops, by the way, tomorrow’s blog will likely be delayed as well as I’ll probably be busy the whole day… Check back in the afternoon or evenings if you’re still craving to read my regular dose of vomitus… ๐Ÿ™‚

Good times!

iMO In My Opinion with Mo Twister (Oct. 12, 2008)

Posted in Most Recent Posts with tags , , , , , , , , , on October 13, 2008 by Benj
Screen cap from iMO (In My Opinion)

Screen cap from iMO (In My Opinion)

Sunday nights are normally pretty laid back and I often find myself channel surfing to find some interesting show to watch… Failing that, I just copy my latest downloads to my USB card and watch it on TV…

Now comes my man Mo Twister with a brand spanking new show on the ANC channel… ANC is known mostly for “serious” programming and so I was pleasantly surprised that my man Mo got a show on the said station…

The format kind of reminds me of the talk shows of Jay Leno or David Letterman…The show is basically divided into two segments:

  1. iMo Mo’s Most Wanted Hitlist
  2. The Couch

iMo Mo’s Most Wanted Hitlist

This section of the show is more freewheeling and my favorite part, thus far… Mo talks about the latest headlines and topics of interest and puts his own perverted “twist” to it… Let’s run down the hitlist, one by one:

Reproductive Health Bill

Up first is the news that the Catholic Church is up in arms over this bill which seeks to promote government subsidized genocide of literally billions of little swimmers in the latex death trap known as condoms… I found the soundbytes amusing when mouthed by those hypocrites in Congress who’ve never had to work a day in their life and are enjoying the trappings of their office at the expense of the poorest of the poor…

Here’s Mo’s top 10 reasons why condoms should have been given out for free a long, long, long time ago…

10. Miriam Defensor Santiago– imagine if there were twins or triplets of Miriam? Perish the thought…
9. Raul Gonzales – isn’t he so adorabe you just want to choke him to death?
8. Manoling Morato -he’s out of the limelight, thank God, but his antics will live in our nightmaresย  forever…
7. The Abu Sayaff -terrorists anyone?
6. Tim Yap – snort, snort… Gucci, Chanel and YSL would be so sorry to lose your business…
5. George Bush Sr. – simply for the reason that we wouldn’t have our entry at number 4 without him…
4. George Bush Jr. – that’s right, you little genius you…
3. Sulpicio Lines Management – yeah, floating coffins with an engine…
2. Jobert Sucaldito – wouldn’t you just love to go to his house and shave off that lettuce patch he calls hair?
1. Cristy Fermin – You knew that the vermin was coming, huh? Nuff said…

Banana split girls

It’s the promise of comedy in the form of scantily clad girls and it premiered last Saturday night on ANC’s mother station, ABS-CBN… It stars:

  1. Cristy Fermin – nah, just kidding…it’s actually Roxanne Guinoo
  2. Angelica Panganiban
  3. Christine Reyes
  4. Valerie Concepcion

Mo showed some clips from a press conference the girls had to promote the show and they looked like they were bored out of their brains during the press junket…

Angelica had a particularly stupid line: She said, and I quote verbatim:

Para sa akin kasi yung comedy nasa sa yo, nasa pagiging natural mo yun bilang tao eh… So kasi po pinanganak talaga ako para sa show na ito eh…

Really? Your destiny in this universe, your sole reason for being born is to star in this stupid show? Tsk, tsk, Angelica my dear, you were destined for greater things, like being the image young boys relieve their pubescent imaginations on… Come on, you’re selling yourself short…

Texting while driving

Mo talked about this new law being proposed which will essentially prevent people from texting or otherwise using their cellphones while driving…

He doesn’t have a beef with the new law and I don’t have one either but why zero in on texting when we don’t have a minimum alcohol provision in our laws… Drunk driving is inherently more dangerous than texting I would think… The Philippines is one of the few countries in the world without such a provision… Probably along with Mongolia, Tibet and Kazakhstan… Well, at least according to Borat…

Interestingly, drunk driving is penalized P20,000.00 without jail time while texting is penalized P100,000.00 with 6 months of jail time… Makes sense?

Pinoyparazzi sued by Mocha girls

The all female group Mocha girls sued the tattle rag Pinoyparazzi when they published pictures of the group members kissing…

The girls said that their careers could be ruined because their audience were men and that allegations of lesbianism would turn off their intended audience…

Hmmm, au contraire my dears, do you know of any horndogs who would be turned off by girl to girl action? Menage a troi, anyone?

Ateneo toasts Lasalle

Mo related the story of Ateneo burning the names of the Lasalle players written on logs which formed part of the celebratory bonfire of Ateneo in apparent retaliation for the middle finger given to them by one of Lasalle’s player…

Hmmm, I couldn’t care less, I’m from UST, hehe…

The Couch

Special guest for the first edition of The Couch was feminist and Philippine Daily Inquirer columnist, Rina Jimenez David talking about the provisions of the Reproductive Health Bill…

The wide ranging discussions ran the gamut from condom use, abortion and her children’s possible use of condoms… ๐Ÿ™‚

I find Rina brilliant and read her columns regularly at PDI… Cool mom, as well…

Edgardo Surezaย  of Pro-life Philippines presented the opposing view on the RH bill being discussed and I found his views strange… From sex education and the use of natural rhythm method… His arguments just didn’t have a leg to stand on…

Most of his arguments were non-sequitur…

I was observing Mo and he totally disagreed with Ed Sureza’s views…

I don’t want to discuss this too much but I’m sure that 80% of Filipinos, even Katoliko Sagrados would agree that we need to practice some form of birth control other than the notoriously unreliable rhythm method…

Great show, Mo… I look forward to next week’s episode…

Good times!